The 40+ Club

So since I rarely post anything on this blog, it's bound to be important. As some people know we are in the final stages for a federal law enforcement job. This job requires that we jump through many hoops, the most recent being a medical physical. I left the house at 5am to drive into Phoenix for my 6:30 appt., which was actually at 7am. I'm the first and things are moving along quite well. I finally see the Dr. and asked him about some of the questions on the form I was confused about about namely one that requires that I list every time I was a patient in a hospital and with that, why, the address, and the Dr's name who treated me. I thinking this was rather ridiculous, so I asked him what they meant by that and he in his very surly personally said

Doc: "well read the question"
Josh: I was born in a hospital should I list that?
Doc: Hey listen it's the gov't you can say what you want it's your job.

The other question I struggled with was "Have you ever been treated by anybody for anything in the last 20 years for other than a minor illness".... again my same inquiry was met with his same surliness.
Well once all the question were answered he then began the final phase...incredibly sophisticated medical exam. What I mean by this is that he touched my cheeks, my feet, my wrist, he told me to squeeze his finger, etc... (really 8 years of school.......?????) So I played his games until.....

Doc: Stand up
Josh: (stood up)
Doc: The last two parts of the exam are a hernia check and a rectal exam
Josh: (eyes like dinner plates)
Josh: (thinking to himself) why on earth do they keep these places at negative 47 degrees Celsius?
Doc: First I am going to yada, yada, yada, you are going to rest your arms on the bed.
Josh: (Thinking to himself) Shouldn't you buy me dinner first?
Doc: Turn your head
Josh: cough cough
Doc: Turn around
Josh: (hearing the theme music for Darth Vader, slowly turns around)
Doc: Blah blah blah....(excitedly and somewhat like a teacher answering a question) and there it is!
Josh: (thinking) And there it is....really? You know Doc I didn't make this appointment because the other day I was bored and wanted to find my prostate and couldn't
Doc: Here are some things to clean up the nurse will be right in
Josh: (thinking) Could you have her wait just a minute I need to gather my thoughts

So while I am not 40 years old yet I feel that I am part of a very prestigious fraternity and as such I think that it is important to document for posterities sake.